Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Did I mention that I have a "melancholic" personality. Melancholic personality is defined as someone who sees the world how it should be, not how it is, but doesn't know how to change it so just complains about it.
Ok, so I am a bad blogger. I haven't written anything for almost two weeks now. Ah, shame on me. I really didn't have anything to say though. But now I do.
I am a Christian, but I don't go to church. I actually haven't gone to church for almost two years now. I do visit some churches now and again. And each time I visit, I am reminded whyI don't go to church. Here are two of my favorite comments (paraphrased) made by two separate pastors that beautifully illustrate why I do not go to a building every sunday and call it 'Church': About a year and a half ago, I was visiting a church that my family attended regularly. I really didn't have an issue with the church, it was very conservative and followed the Bible to the letter (they tried at least, or maybe just the parts they liked...), but I really didn't mind going until one Sunday. The lead pastor, who weighed probably about 320 pounds (I'm not telling you this to be rude, its important later on in the story) spoke from the pulpit about honoring God's temple- your body. I find this topic fascinating and I think there are many interpretations to what this may mean, from eating only organic food to not smoking and drinking and so on. I was very interested in what this man had to say. He spoke for a while, and then said this :" I do not see how all these tattoos and piercings are honoring God. You are corrupting and modifying his creation- it is not art, it is a sin". WELL, thats nice coming from a 320 pound person who is clearly honoring God's temply by being morbidly OBESE.... I couldn't take anything that was said seriously at that church again.
The second story comes from a church that I visited that preaches the Gospel of Prosperity. They believe that God genuienly wants Christians to be prosperous, healthy and comfortable. While I believe that God does want to bless you, I believe there are some fundamental issues to subscribing fully to this theology. I won't get into those now because this blog will be way too long if I do. Anyway, the topic of this particular sermon was tithing. The pastor was preaching about how tithing forms a covenant between you and God, it makes you have more of an "in" with the Big Guy. As an example, the pastor told a story about how a man was driving in his car when he saw a semi truck reeling out of control towards him. In that split second of time, the man said "Lord, I'm a tither" and he was saved! The pastor was suggesting that if you tithe regularly, God will give you extra protection, extra prosperity, extra health. To me, this is reducing God to a glorified Santa Clause that rewards His little kids for being good.
So I have issues with the Church, in particular in this city. Of course, I can go on and on with more stories like this, but these two are my favorites. I do not suggest that I know the "right way" to conduct church. But there has to be a better way that what is popular in this city. Anyone got any comments? Let me know....jessewillard@hotmail.com.
I am a Christian, but I don't go to church. I actually haven't gone to church for almost two years now. I do visit some churches now and again. And each time I visit, I am reminded whyI don't go to church. Here are two of my favorite comments (paraphrased) made by two separate pastors that beautifully illustrate why I do not go to a building every sunday and call it 'Church': About a year and a half ago, I was visiting a church that my family attended regularly. I really didn't have an issue with the church, it was very conservative and followed the Bible to the letter (they tried at least, or maybe just the parts they liked...), but I really didn't mind going until one Sunday. The lead pastor, who weighed probably about 320 pounds (I'm not telling you this to be rude, its important later on in the story) spoke from the pulpit about honoring God's temple- your body. I find this topic fascinating and I think there are many interpretations to what this may mean, from eating only organic food to not smoking and drinking and so on. I was very interested in what this man had to say. He spoke for a while, and then said this :" I do not see how all these tattoos and piercings are honoring God. You are corrupting and modifying his creation- it is not art, it is a sin". WELL, thats nice coming from a 320 pound person who is clearly honoring God's temply by being morbidly OBESE.... I couldn't take anything that was said seriously at that church again.
The second story comes from a church that I visited that preaches the Gospel of Prosperity. They believe that God genuienly wants Christians to be prosperous, healthy and comfortable. While I believe that God does want to bless you, I believe there are some fundamental issues to subscribing fully to this theology. I won't get into those now because this blog will be way too long if I do. Anyway, the topic of this particular sermon was tithing. The pastor was preaching about how tithing forms a covenant between you and God, it makes you have more of an "in" with the Big Guy. As an example, the pastor told a story about how a man was driving in his car when he saw a semi truck reeling out of control towards him. In that split second of time, the man said "Lord, I'm a tither" and he was saved! The pastor was suggesting that if you tithe regularly, God will give you extra protection, extra prosperity, extra health. To me, this is reducing God to a glorified Santa Clause that rewards His little kids for being good.
So I have issues with the Church, in particular in this city. Of course, I can go on and on with more stories like this, but these two are my favorites. I do not suggest that I know the "right way" to conduct church. But there has to be a better way that what is popular in this city. Anyone got any comments? Let me know....jessewillard@hotmail.com.
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
A GREAT article on pacifism!
http://www.theooze.com/articles/article.cfm?id=478
http://www.theooze.com/articles/article.cfm?id=478
The older I get the more convinced I am that so much in life is based on perspective. If you get three people in one room, show them a scene on a television and then interview them, you will get three different interpretations as to what occured in that scene. It makes me wonder, is "truth" a tangible, real thing that exists in the world, or is it something that is malleable and fluid, changing from person to person. I myself believe that there are absolute truths in the universe, but I think that there are very few of these kinds of truths. The more I experience, the more I realize how much grey exists in this world. For instance, I am on a quest. I am bound and determined to find out the true and accurate answer behind the question: Were the Founding Fathers of the United States devout Christians, and furthermore, did they intend for this nation to be a Christian nation? A lot rests on this question. I was always taught that the founding fathers were Deists or Unitarians. They believed in "God" as a theory or as someone who created the universe and then left it to its own demise, never supernaturally invading to change its course. But now, many Christians are saying the founding fathers were Christian, and did intend for this nation to be a Bible-based, Christian nation. This is confusing me. If you do a search and type in "founding fathers and christianity" you will get websites that are eithe adamant that they were or adamant that they were not. How confusing. Maybe it is all a matter of perspective. What do you think? If you have any resources or books that may help me on this quest please email me: jessewillard@hotmail.com.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
I sent out an email to all my friends last week about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. I meant to say in that email that even though I slanted my position to appear as though I was a democrat- I am not. I am actually a registered Republican. But honestly, I have grown sick and tired of both parties. They are the same, with different names. If someone held a gun to my head and said I had to pick along a party line without knowing anything about the canidates, I would probably vote democrat today. That doesn't say anything though- It might be republican tomorrow.I didn't like Clinton and I don't like Bush. The lesser of two evils is still evil right? So I don't know what that makes me- a Libertarian maybe. Or maybe Green Party. Or maybe I will form my own party- hmmmm let me think- what should I call my new party- how about Federalrepublicliberteriandemocracyisms. Thats right everyone. I will vote Federalrepublicliberteraindemocracyism in 2004, (I'm sure it will be better than the real options given me at the polls)
Monday, July 07, 2003
When I was trying to decide what to write about as my first "important" topic of discussion, part of me wanted to write about something political, religious or important. But instead I decided to talk about the Battle of the Bulge. The war most americans are fighting right now- Fatness. I read an article this morning on our Food Bank intranet about how the government is going to start legislating a more healthy lifestyle. You see, apparently 1/4 of Americans are MORBIDLY obese while another 1/4 are overweight. That, my friends, is a public health isssue. The thing is though, what is causing this rampant obesity? Is it the way we eat, what we eat, how inactive we are? I tell you what, I have gained almost 30 pounds in the last year. Maybe the government should look at the changes in my life that affected this weight gain to help answer these questions.
As to be expected of a woman, I am slightly insecure about my weight gain, but not insecure enough to not write about it. I used to be pretty thin, pretty in shape. So what happened? Why am I now facing looking in the mirror and seeing rolls of fat? Well I can count at least 3 major occurences in my life that most likely caused this gain. First of all, I have a gland problem. Yeah, yeah thats what they all say. This is fat people of the world's mantra. But its true. I have hashimoto's thyroiditis. This does cause considerable weight gain in most people. But alas, I have been on medication for this for over two months now- and no significant weight loss has occured. So reason #2: I became a vegetarian in January of 2002, and then became a non-vegetarian again in March of 2003. So I was a veggie for over a year. For most people, this would actually equate to weight LOSS. But not me- I never liked meat, so really, subconciously, this just allowed me to eat my favorites- CARBS- guiltfree. As you can imagine, a diet of lots of bread and pasta did not produce weight loss. Reason # 3- oh yeah, I quit exersizing. In my youth, I played varsity soccer, I did karate and I was generally quite active. Then all of a sudden, I just stopped. Stopped running, stopped karate, stopped all of my active lifestyle. And it finally caught up to me.
So what am I gonna do? I HAVE to lose this weight right? Or I become a public health concern. My aunt and I have this deal going right now- we promised each other to do at least 30 minutes of SOME form of exersize every day, or else we owe each other five bucks. So far its working- I think I have only missed one day in over a month. But I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Oh yeah, did I mention I hate it? Fortunatly, I am too poor to pay up, so I drag my fat ass to the treadmill. No results though. I am still a faty fat fat. The interesting thing is- my body image, the way I see myself, is more healthy than its ever been. All jest aside, I know I am "pleasantly plump", yet I feel very beautiful. That could be that I happen to have a significant other who tells me I am pretty all the time, so often maybe I actually believe him now. And I am finally in a place where my physical attributes don't completely define me as a person. But the fact of the matter is- I am unhealthy. The extra weight- it wears me down, I can actually feel in my back and neck and joints the extra poundage I am carrying. That can't be good.
So as pretty and happy I feel with my self the fact of the matter is- I'm still overweight, and unhealthy. So, I write this to say- I will change my lifestyle again, back to an active one. Afterall, I changed it once to an inactive lifestyle, I can change it again, right? But only for health reasons- I don't want to fall in the 1/3 of americans who die because they ate too much ice cream. So for all those Ice cream/ sugar/ carbaholics out there who would like to give me some tips on how to keep the white devil known as processed sugar and flour away- please email me- jessewillard@hotmail.com- for health's sake.
As to be expected of a woman, I am slightly insecure about my weight gain, but not insecure enough to not write about it. I used to be pretty thin, pretty in shape. So what happened? Why am I now facing looking in the mirror and seeing rolls of fat? Well I can count at least 3 major occurences in my life that most likely caused this gain. First of all, I have a gland problem. Yeah, yeah thats what they all say. This is fat people of the world's mantra. But its true. I have hashimoto's thyroiditis. This does cause considerable weight gain in most people. But alas, I have been on medication for this for over two months now- and no significant weight loss has occured. So reason #2: I became a vegetarian in January of 2002, and then became a non-vegetarian again in March of 2003. So I was a veggie for over a year. For most people, this would actually equate to weight LOSS. But not me- I never liked meat, so really, subconciously, this just allowed me to eat my favorites- CARBS- guiltfree. As you can imagine, a diet of lots of bread and pasta did not produce weight loss. Reason # 3- oh yeah, I quit exersizing. In my youth, I played varsity soccer, I did karate and I was generally quite active. Then all of a sudden, I just stopped. Stopped running, stopped karate, stopped all of my active lifestyle. And it finally caught up to me.
So what am I gonna do? I HAVE to lose this weight right? Or I become a public health concern. My aunt and I have this deal going right now- we promised each other to do at least 30 minutes of SOME form of exersize every day, or else we owe each other five bucks. So far its working- I think I have only missed one day in over a month. But I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Oh yeah, did I mention I hate it? Fortunatly, I am too poor to pay up, so I drag my fat ass to the treadmill. No results though. I am still a faty fat fat. The interesting thing is- my body image, the way I see myself, is more healthy than its ever been. All jest aside, I know I am "pleasantly plump", yet I feel very beautiful. That could be that I happen to have a significant other who tells me I am pretty all the time, so often maybe I actually believe him now. And I am finally in a place where my physical attributes don't completely define me as a person. But the fact of the matter is- I am unhealthy. The extra weight- it wears me down, I can actually feel in my back and neck and joints the extra poundage I am carrying. That can't be good.
So as pretty and happy I feel with my self the fact of the matter is- I'm still overweight, and unhealthy. So, I write this to say- I will change my lifestyle again, back to an active one. Afterall, I changed it once to an inactive lifestyle, I can change it again, right? But only for health reasons- I don't want to fall in the 1/3 of americans who die because they ate too much ice cream. So for all those Ice cream/ sugar/ carbaholics out there who would like to give me some tips on how to keep the white devil known as processed sugar and flour away- please email me- jessewillard@hotmail.com- for health's sake.
As a precursor to a website in progress, this is where you can taste, and most likely distaste, the craziness known as Jesse's mind. I don't expect too many readers here, this is mainly for my own sanity. Just the chance that someone might read what I have to say is good enough for me. So if you are that one lucky person- have fun. And remember- I don't have a clue about anything- I talk out of my rear. Thanks!
